Anyway, thanks Char and Wina for the post. Looks like it's time for me to say something. It's late, and i'm really tired - but I can't sleep. haha. Dunno why suddenly had the urge to come and read... Sorry Wina i just saw your post. haha.
Hmmm. Just wanted to let you all know - after I read Char's post, I was thankful that Char brought it up. The cell, particularly S8, weren't being there for each other - being each other's emotional support, and not being T. After reading Sarah's post, I was talking abt it to Minks. I was telling Minks, how uncanny because it was bugging me for months before, but I daren't say it out - PRIDE, I guess. Our cell, I feel, is really prideful. Or maybe just I? I don't know. But as I told Minks I'm glad that Char brought the issue up, Minks told me that she had been feeling the same way too, for some time. Now that I see that Wina was feeling this way too, Now THAT'S uncanny! (Wow Char isn't that like 4 times the confirmation! God's telling us to transform!)
I guess we really do need to open up. And I believe that it was not by chance that God led Char feel so on the verge of breaking down that she had to pour it out to us. I do know that this relationship we share means very much to each and everyone of us. Just today, a good friend was sharing with me that his two buddies, also in his G12, who grew up with him, are now backsliding. How tired and disappointed he is to see his friends backslide, he still has to hang on to God. I told him that I'm sorry I can't fully understand how he feels, but I do know that right now if there were to be any single one of you girls who fell away, my heart would just break and bleed. Yes, I too, felt the pain when I read that Char was thinking about leaving home, leaving church.
I am, too, guilty of the indifference I perhaps had shown.. I know that God sometimes plants instructions in my head to go to you guys once in awhile to find out how you're doing. And a number of times I was told to go to Char - but I disobeyed God and procrastinated. I'm sorry.. I kept convincing myself that you wouldn't want to share with me.. but I guess I would have prolly been wrong.
Anyhow, I guess it's time for our cell to start anew and really start treasuring this relationship we have. I really do love every single one of you girls. As I was reading Wina's post of how glorious God is, I just cried. It really touched my heart to see in yet another way how wonderful our God is..
Okay anyway cluster camp just ended - I cried at every session -.- God planted something new in me. I'm still processing it, but it's 3/4 done processing la. It's a precious thing I received from God, and a precious new insight, even as I mentored the group for the first time. I feel like I received so much from God during the camp - even though it wasn't encounter - God was very good to me (not to mention placing the eye candy in my group).
I guess I'll share more during S8 lar. But for now, I just have another piece of good news to share - I GOT A NEW JOB!! HALLELUJAH!
posted by mandaaa- @ 1:26 AM
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