.:Let me be as gold, and precious silver... .:

P.s. Before I do that, Wina - the first colour looks good to me. HAHAHA Cos it looks exactly like the TJ uniform shade! Love it! LOL.

-------------------------

Here goes:

I've always been an escapist of sorts. Whenever I'm faced with a problem, I'd push it off my mind to the best I could, and avoid thinking of the matter by occupying my mind with other less pertinent things. It always seemed like a comforting notion that I didn't have to concentrate on my problem, and that other things (eg. my interest in books, plot bunnies etc) made my problems seem secondary.

The past few months have been much more confrontational for me. With reality persistently being pushed in my face, I have been reminded of how deceptive this fantastical world of escapism is for me. And I'm reminded of who I should really turn to, instead of merely the figment of my imagination. To be quite honest, I've never been speechless to such an extent, such as the night before when I was talking on the phone with someone. It wasn't that I was holding things back, and didn't wish to speak my mind. My mind was just a blank, and I felt like I was at an utter loss, completely clueless what I should say. It wasn't even a case of "I don't know if I should say this cos it might not sound right." I was amazed, that I was really left speechless. All I could manage was a repetition of "Mm." or "Ok..." - Never knew I would ever feel so inarticulate.

But I thank God for this opportunity anyway, to feel this clueless and speechless. It signifies my inability to anticipate the future, and the possibilities of unprecedented events. That means I'm not mapping out my own future, nor do I have the ability to. Because rightfully, only God can do that for me - and I have to listen to him. Perhaps, you don't know what I'm raving on and on about. You might even think this is a result of a deterioration of the mind due to the lack of use for two months. But seriously, I just thank God because this lack of ability to see what the future holds, means that You are doing a work in my life, You are being dynamically involved rather than me just recklessly paving my way in life in MY WAY. I'm not saying that I am fully able to surrender things at this stage, because it just came to my attention that I am unable to do just that. (I'm struggling with some emotional thingys, emotional tussles you know you know) But... You showing Yourself to me in ways like this, in ways like this, in ways like this (Yes I have to repeat it so many times cos I can't explain how awesome it is) just awes me because it reminds me of Your divine intervention.

-------------------------

Ok, that's it. Oh ya again, Love the shirt Wina! But isnt the lining a bit reminiscent of the Ps SengLeeTribe's pink and brown shirt? Haha. And of course! Will upload the rest of the CHRISTMAS PHOTOS SOON! (: